Ken McDonald, my dear friend and zen brother, was best man at the wedding of our mutual friends Joel Katz and Tim Montgomery in Toronto. When he told me that he had even given a toast as traditional for such occasions, I asked him what he said. He said that he didn’t write it down or record it, but that it would be easy to recreate as it came from the heart. I can think of no better way to express my happiness for Joel and Tim than to publish Ken’s words and send Joel and Tim our warm regards and best wishes.
“The time has come to state the obvious. This is a great day.
“We have members of the Katz family, in from Washington, New York, and Ottawa. And we have members of the Montgomery family here, from Vancouver, Frankfurt, and Tunisia ... no, wait, that's just where their luggage went. They've come from Vancouver.
“It's a pleasure for me to stand here and tell you about Joel. I've known him for a long time, so I've been going through my library of possible things I could say about him. It's so difficult to choose. So I'll go by his favourite quote, which is "Granny's Rules". If you know them, let's all say together: "Is it TRUE? Is it KIND? Is it NECESSARY?" Well, I suppose two out of three wouldn't be bad.
“First, about truth. I think everyone here has had a significant conversation with Joel. He has a great ability to look for the truth, whether it's personal truth, musical truth, or any kind of truth.
“And about kindness: as you look around here in this beautiful garden, you see Joel and Tim's ability to create a place of beauty. This is a great effort of kindness in which they both are participating: creating their lives together.
“And is it necessary? Well, I never imagined, growing up, that such a ceremony as marriage would be available for people like us, that I'd be standing here today as best man. And now here we are. There are so many places in the world where such a thing is not possible, where gay people are still persecuted.
“But this is not a political event. Today is about family. It's about friends. It's about love. It's really simple. So let us imagine, for now, that what's happening here is just the way the world is, with our hope that it be so. So, here's to family, here's to friends, here's to love, here's to Tim and Joel.”